Gents. I’m trying to find the words here, but after looking into past posts and contrasting your experience to what I wrote, I feel about 1 inch tall.
You asked questions in the context of juicing up your girth, so I offered some advice based on my experience. Truth is, my experience is not yours. You’re coming out of a something unthinkable. I won’t edit what I wrote in case you find some nuggets in there that help you, but had I known more of the back story, I would have been more careful in my wording.
Unfortunately, what happened to you has happened to many men. The way we’re programmed makes it hard to recover. Just look at the “my ex was slightly bigger” posts to see what it does to a man’s brain.
The only real advice I can give that is from the heart is that there IS such thing as true, committed love out there. Your roll of the dice didn’t deliver. But it exists. You can and will recover if you love yourself and have faith. I can’t imagine what you have gone through, but if you need someone to bounce shit off of, just message me. I’ve had friends go through this and come out on the other side MUCH happier men.
I still wish you only the best sir.
If I had medals to give to you I would.
I appreciate this so much. Sometimes I go back to 12/24/21 and wish when I found out and asked her if she slept with him, with her saying no, lying to my face, that I would have reacted differently. I should have just said, "I know the truth, you just lied to me and our trust is broken forever. I am done with this marriage" and never fought for us. But I went the other way, I gave her the chance to figure out how she was going to react to me knowing the truth and she failed that test. She lied and manipulated me and I have all the proof yet I still tried for us, having hope in the woman I loved and chose to spend my life with. And the manipulation and resentment towards me continued. Yet I still pushed forward for my family. I was told I wasn't good enough, big enough, lasted long enough. I still pushed forward by going to therapy, working on myself trying to edge better, pump, last longer.. it didn't matter to her. And when I said that I think we're going to end up divorced, she cries and fights back not wanting to destroy what's comfortable to her. I'm being abused. I'm being tortured. And I'm being neglected and not prioritized. This sucks. But I still push forward for my family and maybe I'm the fool but I know that I wasn't the best person prior to this affair and if I can make myself the best version of me and she still won't change for me, when she straight up told me last year I needed to change, then I have no choice but to leave.
It seems you make poor partner choices. You need to figure out where it’s going wrong. Ask yoursejf these questions. How many sexual partners had she had, does she watch porn? Does she make fun of you or put you down? Does she drink a lot? Does she have lots of guy friends? What are her friends like? There are so many clues and give aways to spot these trash women. Sorry you went through that
dude. I didn't see the deleted post, but some of these "clues" are dripping with misogyny.
*How many sexual partners had she had,*
This doesn't matter, at all. Is she STI free? Is she able to connect with you emotionally during sex, then who gives a fuck?
Unless you're threatened by her past. Which is understandable, but is YOUR issue, not hers. own it.
*does she watch porn?*
do you watch porn? Some people like visual stimulation.
*Does she make fun of you or put you down?*
Yea, this one IS valid. If your partner regularly puts you down that isn't the sign anything healthy.
*Does she drink a lot?*
Could be an issue if she has an unhealthy relationship with alcohol.
*Does she have lots of guy friends?*
Most of my friends are women. Having male friends is not a sign of a problem. on the other hand, being threatened by a woman having male friends is a sign of a deeply insecure, controlling man.
*What are her friends like? There are so many clues and give aways to spot these trash women. Sorry you went through that*
Look at the divorce rate and what % of those are women that initiate it. You have to vet the absolute shit of these broads. Especially western women. What you say sounds right but doesn’t apply to the real world sadly.
What does one have to do with the other. Yes, divorce rates are high. Why is this women's fault? Would you rather people stay in a relationships where they're unhappy?
If you think the problem is "Western women" you probably are romanticizing old school patriarchal attitudes that are decidedly at odds with having an actual healthy partnership.
To be honest, a lot of what you're saying sounds like borderline "incel talking points"
You need to do some research on all the topics I have covered. You lack a lot of experience by the sounds of it. Men are a lot happier with traditional women with lower body counts which studies prove have a higher chance of happier long term marriage. So body count does make a difference overall.
I have had many different types of women and I see other relationships which confirms my views. Expectation of men is too high alot or women have alot of options due to social media which is why this generation is jumping ship. 73% of divorces are initiated by women and that’s not bcoz of the men. Yes there are shit men out there like shit women buuut the quality of women has plummeted.
I’m definitely not an incel. I have been with many beautful women with my average penis.
You simply just don’t know and I forgive you
Dude, you may not be an incel, but you're definitely parroting incel talking points about the "quality of women".
I'm in my forties and I've had a lot of of long-term rewarding relationships. I'm not interested in a submissive woman who pumps up my ego, I'm interested in a partnership of equals and a healthy relationship.
Body count ( besides being a ridiculously cringey term) is pretty irrelevant.
Now shared values absolutely ARE important, so if you're very conservative about sex, you obviously aren't going to do well partnered with someone who isn't. But the idea that women who have slept with a lot of people are somehow less desirable or less worthwhile is a deeply misogynistic double standard rooted in male insecurity that they won't measure up to previous partners.
Again, that's okay... everyone has their insecurities, but we should own them and not put other people down for not inflating our own egos and tiptoeing around our own issues.
I view women initiating divorces, and women not settling in general as a positive thing. No person (of any gender) should be forced to settle for a relationship that isn't meeting their core needs.
How exactly do you know that those divorces aren't "because of the men"? It couldn't possibly be that this is the first generation of women that has actually been empowered enough to have a voice and not settle for shit tier quality men as partners.
How exactly are expectations of men too high?
You may not have noticed, but straight men have one of the most privileged positions in the world... That's okay, but we're certainly not under attack when someone suggests that we might be held to similar standards as everyone else.
All of this is debatable to be honest and it’s really not worth it. You’re in your 40’s so you wouldn’t know what I’m talking about when I discuss modern day women. Your generation was much different. You woujd definitely struggle in todays society. I don’t because I have survived it and learnt from my experiences and I can pick and choose at will. My advise isn’t for everyone but it might help a guy that got cheated on twice like the deleted comments guy. I’m actually for equality but it’s not what’s it’s designed to be sadly. I’m not saying I favour submissive women, I’m saying traditional women loved and honoured their men which men Should do the same.
All the best to you though. As long as you are happy much like I am.
Pumping and clamping with some bundled twists beforehand. Use heat!
Try to get in the habit of wearing a cock ring when you spank the monkey or when you have sex.
Pumping and clamping routines are found in the ToC or by doing a search of the sub. Measure your results regularly and write everything down so you can make adjustments as you go.
I’d drop the jelqing, but that’s just me.
>Try to get in the habit of wearing a cock ring when you spank the monkey or when you have sex.
Don't you have to remove the ring before you ejaculate? I've heard cumming with the ring still on can cause backups and possibly a nasty UTI?
I’ve been using it for years, never had a problem. If this is not advised, I was not aware. Please follow the advice of a doctor.
Again, this is not like cable clamp tight. It’s a soft clamp. I would never try to ejaculate through a cable clamp.
I used a pump for 2 months, it was a cheaper hand bulb one but I felt like it worked. I would use it for 4 minutes x 4 sets 3-4 days a week. But then I stopped because so much of what I read was negative on pumping for gains.
I don't know how to do clamping so I'll have to research this.
I don't masturbate/edge a lot. I could try a ring for it. I haven't had sex in over a year hence the failed marriage.
Why drop jelqing? I thought this is the way to go to get girth?
It’s known to be a practice that can cause nerve damage and give you a baseball bat shape. Luckily I started PE after this sub’s resident Doc Hink recommended staying away from them. I have never done them and I’ve seen gains without em.
I’d look for a soft cock ring. Something that is flexible, applies enough pressure where you can get rock hard and veiny and even add a little girth, but not so much that it digs in or causes pain. A folded vac hang sleeve works great for this especially if you’re not using it for sex, as it might get a little thick for that.
As an older guy, I have used a ring for many years during sex just to keep up my youthful hardness. Anecdotally, I think it contributed to my pre-PE girth unknowingly.
Edit: if you don’t masturbate often or have sex, you may want to get some blood work to check your testosterone levels. I am sure your marriage caused you stress. But since you’re working on your unit, I imagine you are having thoughts of the next bedroom conquest. Decreased level of horniness could be a sign your hormones are out of whack and could also be why you aren’t seeing gains.
I've had my hormones tested twice this year and all in acceptable rages. It's not me, it's her.
How long do you wear the ring for?
I want to work on my unit because my wife told me I was small and she didn't feel me inside her. This killed my confidence and also I have the other PE pretty severe. So I really just wanted to get working on making this little guy thicker and while I don't edge alot, I practice edging 1-2 times a week and do semen retention for usually 2 weeks or so. But anytime I try to use a Fleshlight, I'll come extremely quickly.
Gotcha. Glad your hormones are in check!
Sorry to hear you went through that with your wife. I would probably be a He-Man Woman Hater (Extreme: Pornograffitti) if that happened to me.
I don’t know how, but we have to get you back in the game my brother. What you went through is traumatizing! Have you talked with someone? You need to put that shit in the past and realize that there is a woman out there who will not treat you like that. She’s hot too! That is the woman you should focus on. Picture her. Seduce her. Spank to her. You have to get those juices flowing again. You have much to offer if you confidently go out there and get it! Don’t settle!
On to your cock. Research the hell out of gaining girth and routines. Spare no expense and get the pumps, cable clamps, girth bands, cock rings. See your goal girth. 5 inches. See it, pump to it and then past it, it will be yours. Eat right. Exercise. Drain the sac at least once or twice a week to keep your body in the game.
You got this!
Edit: sorry, I got into a rant there.. I have a best friend who’s wife cheated on him and I remember his mental state for a long time after… it was devastating. He’s happily married again and thinks it was the best thing that could have ever happened to him.
To answer your Q- wear the cock ring for no longer than 30 min for blood flow reasons. Massage your unit and put it back on after 5 min. The masturbating is just to make sure you’re in an erect state. For girth, the more time you spend erect, the quicker you should see gains. Though science may not back me, I believe our penises are a use it or lose it organ. As you age, you tend to use it less and it tends to shrink as a result. Keep that blood flowing and expanding those tissues.
Been in both general counseling for years and a sex therapist to work on my sexual anxiety revolving around the other PE. It's very bad for me. I know there could be someone more compatible for me.
For my cock, I want it thicker. I want to be able to satisfy and fuck the hell out of a woman and make her scream. I want her to feel my dick tight inside of her and my skinny dick isn't cutting it anymore. I already eat well and exercise very well. I'm in great shape.
Tmar - read some of your other posts. My mom cheated on my dad and he stayed. Ultimately she left him anyways. Of course I don’t enjoy my mother, who is a sociopath, but I also don’t respect my father for laying down and letting it happen. Please take it from me and hire an attorney for a divorce so you can move on. Live close and love your kids. But leave this woman who clearly doesn’t appreciate you. Then you can focus on healing and making yourself better. That will improve your confidence.
Sorry I know this is for PE but I had to share.
Thanks for investing the time. I don't know if I want to leave or stay yet. I'm still fighting but suffering. I have spoken with an attorney and I know my options. I know how much this will cost too. And what the reality is. I am not leaving this house, it is mine. I should not suffer because she betrayed me. I am not at fault. But I am still focused on making myself the best I can be.
2) get a penis extender
3) add heat
4) buy a pump
5) shopping bag method don't go over 2.5kg start off with 1kg
6) [https://gb-toc.web.app/](https://gb-toc.web.app/) <-read and reread
Throw the manuals in the trash and start hanging & clamping
At 4.5 inch girth bathmate won't be useful. At lower girths it mostly just pumps the base and not the penis. You mentioned you tried pumping? Did you get an appropriate sized cylinder to train girth or did you just choose anything? Did the pump have a gauge? It's not recommended to pump over 5-7hg because that will toughen your tunica making gains harder. This may also be the issue with you using bathmate. You are toughening everything before exercising. You may want to take a break for a month to decondition and come back. You need to start including tunica malleability exercises into your routine because if you haven't even seen .1 inch gain in length or girth, you may have a tough tunica that is 3 layers instead of 2 and tough ligaments. Your routine also seems like a beginner routine after 9 months. You are definitely not stressing the penis enough to stimulate growth. After the 3-5 month beginner phase, you should be entering into either a dedicated length phase or girth phase for the next 3-4 months before deciding to continue or switch it up. Someone already explained why jelquing is no good so that's good. Clamping is another great way to get girth gains. M9 on r/AJelqForYou has created a clamp specifically for PE which is great because there is no need to fumble around with wrapping and other such things. Look through the table of contents here and on the other subreddit I mentioned and keep going. These guys have so much info that will get you growing. It's not hopeless for you my friend, you just didn't get the right info and guidance. I hope you gain and most importantly I hope all the trouble going on in your life passes and you find some peace and happiness man. Good luck